On Mute

How to play

• Your actual job is the spreadsheet: paste into whichever box is empty, left or right, with the arrow keys, A and D, a click or a tap. Paste into a full one and it stops responding. Every sheet you finish answers an email, and if the inbox fills up, people start asking about it in the meeting.
• Keep up appearances in the call. When someone says your name, nod (N or Down). When they ask you something, unmute (Space or Up) and say yep, then mute again before they hear the dishwasher. Whatever you say yep to goes in the notes. When the cat comes in, turn your camera off (C) until it's gone.
• Do something nobody asked for and you've volunteered: one more email. Miss things and your reputation drops; lose all of it and you're removed from the meeting. Four meetings: a stand-up, a team meeting, the all-hands and one that could have been an email. Today's run is the same day for everyone.